Oh hi there blog, I almost forgot you exist

Hello there, if there's anyone at all. Anyway, it's day 8 of 2013 and I figured it's too late to do any sort of in-2012-i'm-thankful-for posts so here's a list (I will never tire of lists) of how 2013 has been: (long story short: it's been great)

1. I finally have Instagram (and an ipad mini to load it on)!!!! My account is @divinedance and I currently have nine pictures, with four of them already posted above lol. 
2. That said, the ipad mini is probably the best investment of 2012. (Thank you Jotham xoxo) Because I've subscribed to Newsweek and I can't wait to read it on my ipad!!! One of my resolutions this year is to read more and read widely. I've got novels pretty set (a shelf full of half-read or unread books) so I figured I got to work on newspapers and magazines. I've always loved Newsweek so went they went digital and were available on the ipad, I thought why not? Now, what's next... 
3. Also, did I mention Russh is free to download on the ipad?!?!?!?!?!??! If I could choose to write for a fashion magazine when we're in Sydney, it would definitely be this. Oh, Surface magazine is free too. 
4. I've made 10 resolutions for the new year even though I may not be able to accomplish them all, at least I know what I want to achieve. Anyway, of course exercising is top of my list (it is every year) but this year, I can't exactly pinpoint it but I truly feel confident and determined enough to stick with it.
5. Rowena's wedding at St Regis was beautiful and food was amazing. I was the emcee (last minute thing) and omg, having a wedding is really really tiring. But this girl was all smiles and so happy, it made me so happy for her too. Can't wait to see her chubby baby boy in a couple of months time!
6. Been spending quite some time with Jotham's cell group. Ok I should be calling my cell group now but it'll take some time to get used to it. Mich Lo is also coming along with me and I'm thankful for this girl who is so tolerating of my nonsense and whining and even stuck with me through church changes. Best friends, indeed. Who will even try raw zucchini soup with me, hehe.
7. I have missed out so many things, but I will try to blog regularly, even if it's just two sentences, to keep some sort of "record" of my life.

Happy midweek everyone!

Super overdued birthday update

My 21st was a blur as I celebrated with friends and loved one at the awesome Coq & Ball (the name, I know right) in Tiong Bahru. My parents were so supportive and of course, the bill was insane but my dad didn't bat an eyelid. Jotham was the bestest best boyfriend who came over early with a truckload of present ranging from the yummy nana chocolate from Royce to VS undies to an iPad mini (!!!!!!) to a handmade book with lots of cute pictures. The rain that day sort of spoilt the mood a little but it was all fine anda dainty after. I even got a kettlebell from the Jotham's boys and chocolates from Wan and Amiril, so loved.

So anyway, I'm going to try to keep up this blogging thing and not be lazy. It's so hard to keep track of everything here because I usually just write it down in my moleskine. Oh right, and my next year's moleskine is red (thanks lopez and co!), a change from my yearly black. It's really Christmas, isn't it? I've got a full week ahead with lots of Christmas activities and potlucks and gatherings and soon, it will be 2013. Can't wait to start the new year, it'll be good!

Teenagehood

This picture is proof how much this girl has grown. She looks... like a lady. Gone are the childlike features and the baby fats. Melissa turned 13 on Thursday. We celebrated with a simple dinner with the family + a small vanilla cake I managed to find out of sheer luck as per her request. I don't know how to put into words the amount of love and fierce protection I have for her. It's quite like... I will selflessly jump in front of a speeding bus to save her. It's an honour to see her grow up. Happy 13th birthday, Melissa! My favourite girl, my babygirl, forever and always.

Again, I need an iPhone

When your extremely lousy phone produces pictures like these, no amount of photoshop and/or colour editing will save it so I won't even try. An iPhone is definitely high on my save-$-to-buy list so I can finally legitimately document an obscene number of pictures of the all exciting/mundane things in my life.

1. I truly believe I need this amazing grey with white polka dot tea set in my life that I found in the Franc Franc shop in Vivo. It is grey. With white polka dots. Grey and polka dots. Possibly the two main colour/design I want in my future home. Actually, I believe owning any one thing from that shop will greatly improve the aesthetic of my life. (Again, Blackberry camera just makes everything look less attractive than it should be)

2. So today, after an unusually early morning at work toiling over this article which I cannot reveal here because it's unpublished yet, I went to Mad Nest for a media tasting. It's a mix of art gallery supporting local talents and cafe which serves Japanese, Italian, North Indian (omg masala and naan) and all-day brunch food. Ok sounds pretty weird when I type it out here but it's really good, I especially like the Japanese menu. But that's not the point. It's at East Coast Road and after the tasting which left me really full and sleepy, I grudgingly hailed a cab to go home although I dreaded the bound-to-be $30 cab fare. While half suffering from motion sickness because of the uncle's excessive braking, I looked into the press kit and guess what! $25 cab vouchers! Hallelujah God is good. Honestly, I never they existed but they came at the right time so I ended up paying only a few dollars. I'm always extremely grateful when PR company/the shop owner genuinely takes care of you instead of seeing you as just another "medium" to "get your name out there". 

3. Nothing much except my geek brother has found a way to connect his TV and his laptop together and is using both simultaneously to watch shows and play games. I have no words. But he is a genius.

4. My new luggage tag from Rockstar! And now I'm afraid people will steal it off my luggage alamak. But anyway, I'm  looking forward to Bangkok with ML this coming Friday! Going there to eat Phad Thai and mango sticky rice and whatnots like a king and shop at Chatuchak like a queen. Be back with lots of pictures!

It's almost 12mn now so happy 47th birthday, Singapore! Although I have a love-hate relationship with this country (just look at the weather and peak-hour public transport man lol), Singapore will always be home no matter where I am physically.

Weekends

Pretty much spent the weekend with Jotham (again). What's new? Brunch at Relish by Wild Rocket yesterday and it was just average. The beef burger above was okay, but honestly nothing much to scream about. I only the generous serving of wild rockets (lol) on the side or I might have died of meat overload. Then church with the usual people :) So lovely to hang out people you're familiar with. Also reminded me how much I need to start hanging out with them.

Eating a Mars bar now as I wait for the rain to stop so I can go pick the boy from soccer and go grocery shopping (our favourite!!!) and dinner with my family. 

Night lights

Both pictures were taken in Wuhan on separate occasions, separate days (or rather, nights). First on the coach towards our dorm and second on lantern festival where we had potluck in the common area and er, burnt lanterns/play with fire. Rediscovered them again while flipping through old pictures in my com.

One day while I was on the way to work, it struck me how much I've grown since... say, 2-3 years ago. If I'm not mistaken, 3 years ago, around this time, I hit rock bottom. I had a really rough time when I was 18. I made wrong decisions, gave my heart to the wrong person and ended up with baggages too heavy for me to handle. I didn't know how long I could dwell in my misery, though I know I would eventually snap out of it except I don't know when that would be. To be honest, I detest myself for being so weak and vulnerable at the time. My faith suffered and it never fully recovered until about a year ago. Thankfully, time past and you learn from past experiences. It wasn't pleasant but I wouldn't say it was a mistake because everything that happened played a part in shaping me today. I'm not looking back, I'm anticipating the future. I can safely say that I've never been in a better place than I am today.

I just want to sleep

3 weeks into work and I'm still pretty exhausted. I don't even bother much with what I wear to work unlike Style:Weddings/school days. (That's a different story altogether and I will write about it another time) When I get home, I eat my dinner (good news: my mom has started to cook regularly again nom!), stone around a little bit and by 10.30pm, there'll be an intense urge to crawl into bed to sleep. Most of the time, I give in and fall asleep. I haven't got the energy to on my laptop except to download Gossip Girl, How I met your mother, Modern Family etc. Much less come here to write anything. A far cry from my (almost) daily update months ago. Haven't been regularly writing fashion articles for Fever Avenue too, I feel kind of bad now that I think about it.

But really, I shouldn't complain. It wasn't easy to finally land a job after a zillion emails, interviews and rejections on both sides. I love writing for Expat Living, I love that I'm helping them with a top secret project. Which I can only reveal in May, but so exciting! It's different from Style:Weddings or m:idea, in terms of people and working style, but I've been drilled the past 3 years to handle this so I think I'm holding up pretty well. :) Just praying that this chronic tiredness will go away soon.

I've been quite holed up recently, only meeting Jotham when he books out and the occasional friend here and there for brunch/dinner/coffee. I think I go through phases like this all the time throughout the year; not very healthy I admit. My life can really be separated into the different phases I go through, now that I think about it. Fashion (went though a tights phase which J loved, a jeans phase which he hated and begged me to change etc), food addiction (most recent is Korean food especially bibimbap), hobbies (once was baking, then sewing, then cooking), prolonged emotional phases (so depressed during ibp, so crazy during feature writing sem/Wuhan etc) and all sorts of nonsense. Oh God, I sound like a crazy women now. Time to talk about something else.

Anyway, my canon is also sitting in the dry box (recently found my dad's old slr, yes SLR, camera in a dry box in the storeroom) collecting dust. I didn't even take a picture of the super expensive Italian dinner place, Valentino, Jotham brought me to at Rifle Range Road which honestly was too atas for our (ok, just me) liking. I much rather we eat Macpherson prawn mee in the ghetto, old-school fashion.

For some unknown reason, my tummy is starting to ache really badly now like a thousand knives are piercing me from the inside. DEATH IS UPON ME. God please save me.This rant shall thus abruptly end here, goodbye everyone. 

Words of love

Valentine's Day is around the corner but my valentine date is out there in the jungle fighting mozzies (field camp), so I'm going to spend it with my family! It was my daddy's birthday yesterday and we went for crabs and had a lengthy lively discussion about my bro's future as a pilot, work stress, my dad's life experiences etc. I really do treasure moments like this.

"Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear: Forget your people and your father's house.
The King is enthralled by your beauty; honour him, for He is your Lord."

Psalm 45: 10-11

Something I read from the bible yesterday. Talk about a personal love letter from God <3

For reasons unknown

We are two silly people and I like it that way! :)

Anyhow, I went down to the office to sign my letter of appointment this afternoon and I am officially a writer for Expat Living! So exciting, I have a couple of story ideas to pitch when I start work on Wed. The indefinite holidays are (finally!) coming to an end and I'm not yet sad to see it go. Must be because I think they have the coolest office ever. They have kettlebell classes twice a week in the office! I will never have to go gym after work ever again. Plus, they're getting me a new imac! All that aside, the only thing I'm worried about is adapting to this new environment. Working alongside expats definitely isn't going to be easy. I really believe God has planned my life out so perfectly and landed me in this job precisely at this time for a good reason. Need to quit worrying so much!

Less than ordinary

No pictures today, just words. Partially because I'm writing this in Jotham's house using his com. The boy has been having high fever since Saturday and only manage to book in for 1 hour at scs before he was sent home and subsequently, TTS hospital. Last night was his second visit to there and he had to do some blood test, x-rays and was put on a drip for a while. Even coffee couldn't keep me awake and I was practically falling asleep sitting in my chair at a corner of the waiting area, since only 1 person could accompany him and his mom was there as well.

It's really so tiring trying to juggle helping my parents at work, coming over to visit/take care/make this sick boy laugh and everything else in between. Feels like I'm suddenly thrown into this whirlwind of confusion that's entirely beyond my control. Right now, Jotham is snoring like a baby on the bed beside me and I'm relishing in this quiet moment of peace.

For all that I can't, God can and I will trust in Him.

Hollow

This was the first picture I saw on tumblr today. I really do need to slow down and rest. It's been a busy few days helping my dad and I'm falling sick. Jotham is already sick and I'm beyond worried for him. Praying so hard for a miracle. Chinese New Year is coming but I'm not looking forward to it; I just want to get over it so my dad's business will be less busy and we can all lead normal lives.

I have a throbbing headache now and it's killing me. Waking up at 7am tomorrow for a commercial beauty shoot I'm helping Clifford with. I hope it'll be fun. I hope everyone reading this is feeling ok and not under the weather like I am.

Positive things: 1. Mich Lo's surprise 21st birthday tea party yesterday was a success; the birthday girl was caught off guard. 2. Officially employed and starting work on 1st Feb!!

Mini pancakes stack

Number 1 reason why I should get an iphone: It would take a nicer picture of my mini pancakes stack than this Blackberry.

I would love to own a small dainty camera that I can bring everywhere to record my day but instead I'm (still) using a Blackberry and a small-but-still-bulky Canon 550D. But I shall not complain, I must learn to be content. 

Lazed around with J the past 2 days. Kinda feels like we're not making the most out of his one week block leave but there's really nothing much we can/want to do anyway. Will be helping my dad at work again tomorrow and over the weekends! I have so much respect for the man. The unconditional love and sacrifices he made for this family far exceeds what is expected of him. And still, he keeps on giving... I love you, Daddy.

Last day

Long overdued pictures of our dear friend Calista who is a year-end baby (31st dec!!) so our last meal of the year was her impromtu (therefore only 4 of us, sorry Cal!) 20th birthday dinner! Which was... pizza. What's new? I foresee it to be a tradition for us. 
Just a simple dinner but she was so touched by all the other people who couldn't make it but still sent her gifts, cakes and their blessings through other ways. :)

Simple birthdays are always the best. Now that it's 2012, there's going to be a bombard of 21st birthday celebrations and parties (one coming right up this Sun though I can't write much about it yet...)!! So exciting to transit into official adulthood!

P.S I've always thought army as a tougher version of OBS but I've never put much thought into what they actually do there or the conditions that they train in until I saw the Every Singaporean Son videos on youtube yesterday. And I felt so bad for J and kept sayang-ing him but he already pass out from bmt lol I am a failure of a girlfriend. Respect to this boy who still wants ocs and even if he don't, he is still my hero.

More blessed to give than to receive

I don't know how I feel about going to church tomorrow, knowing that my lifegroup is no more. Me of little faith ):

May I never lose of the wonder of the Cross

Whoever built that is truly a genius. I want to lie on fluffy white sheets in my own mini greenhouse basking in the warm sunlight, taking in fresh smell of morning dew and marvel at how small and tiny I am compared to this universe that God had created.

White borders

Sleepovers (with not much sleep involved) are always fun. + I love this polariod. Would be even better if it's the original vintage square one! But thank you Cal <3

That's not why I came to blog today. I received good news today and I am beyond ecstatic! After holding on and waiting and waiting for what seems like ages, I've finally gotten a job offer. And it's far better than what I've expected ($1.3k before cpf? Seriously?) or what I (resentfully) had almost settled for. God sure knows how to do things and has a sense of humour. So hello 2012, bring it on!

Oh right, my Blackberry died a few days ago on Christmas Eve on my way to church service. So I'm now surviving on a barely responding BB and a work phone for well, work and emergencies. Tomorrow is Friday which is also book out day!

On me, on you

I miss my soldier boy so much. But thankfully it's already Wednesday!

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want" Psalms 23:1

Merry Merry Christmas

Christmas this year was better than expected. Christmas Bash, sleepover, brunch and Christmas dinner at Jotham's. Too tired to blog about it now, another day!

Wander with me

My concept of right and wrong might not be as clear as black and white and may consist of varying shades of grey but there are some things that I do have a clear line. When people challenge me on that, or don't look at the issue the same as I do, I get really defensive. I fight tooth and nail and in the process, I fail to realise that the people I am challenging are the people who matters the most to me, people who dares to step up and tell me I am mistaken (whether I am or not, that's not the point) and I end up hurting them. I risk sounding cheesy here but afterall, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Katong laksa (how authentic, I have no idea) with Jinguo at Roxy Square yesterday. Headed to Gan Eng Seng hall for YI Camp service which was filled with sweaty (note: very smelly) campers but God was undeniable. It must be God if people you don't even speak to (ever) lay hands on you and pray the exact prayer you needed to pray and hear. :) By the way, I finished every drop of the laksa and wished I could lick the bowl. I was that hungry.

I don't know if anyone even read this space but just in case there's anyone, goodnight.

Weekends

Weekends are the most precious time of the week. And this weekend was priceless. I basically glued myself to Jotham's house because the poor boy fell sick. I know it's just fieldcamp but omg, he came back thinner and looked like he actually came back from war with all the scars and sickness. ): Army is a phase of life that we will have to work through somehow.

I honestly don't understand how J can be so smitten and sure of his love for me when I'm so silly and insecure half the time. Thank you God for graciously giving me someone so wonderful and thank you babydoll for being the awesome human being that you are. Muahz